Why set boundaries? How do they help us? What is their purpose?
I believe boundaries are our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, that we are defined by our own standards, not what others perceive us to be. Boundaries allow us to separate who we are as well as what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. Boundaries assist us in expressing ourselves as unique individuals, while honouring the uniqueness of others.
Boundaries act as filters that allow us to state what is acceptable and what is not in our lives. Boundaries set clear limits so others know what to expect and how to respect us. If you are not sure what those limits are, it is time to find out, because without boundaries we tend to derive our sense of worth from others.
Boundaries are about putting our needs first and allowing others to put their needs first so that each family member/friend cares for their own needs in a nurturing way. It is okay to say No. It’s okay to express our love for ourselves by setting boundaries that honour the truth of who we are. It is actually necessary to say No at times in order to set healthy boundaries and mirror them to others.
Be your true authentic self and honour your feelings and your way of being, while honouring the thoughts and feelings of others. The healthier your boundaries are, the more respect you will draw into your life, both for yourself, and from those around you.